July 7, 2012
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So. Today on my Facebook newsfeed, I read the status of some Black, undercover gay dude speaking rather harshly about Black Women. I recognize self hate for what it is, so I took no offense to his statement. What struck me as even more horrible was the reaction from some of the women. Instead of standing up for themselves, they joined him in downing their fellow Black Woman and then began arguing with each other >_<
I tried to brush it off as Internet ignorance, but that’s not it… Black Women really are each other’s worst enemy. I’ve gone to countless house parties with a smile on my face and a bottle to share, only to be greeted by older women with scowls looking me over as if I came specifically to “steal” their men. We’ve gone to bourgeoisie functions where the Black women with relaxed hair and Indian weave turn their nose up at my Locs and my homegirl’s ‘Fro. It’s 2011 yet I experience scenes reminiscent of “The WannaBes and the JiggaBoos.”(School Daze, 1988). And must I mention the drama that ensues when too many Black Women occupy a workspace?
I propose a solution.
1. Build your SELF-esteem! Recognize your positive traits. Be Honest about your Flaws. Love Yourself and be Confident in who you are AS you are. If you’re the “baddest chick” in the room, why are you looking at the next chick hard enough to notice her chipped nail polish? Turn that mirror around and ask yourself if YOU are slacking somewhere. If so, step your game up. Go to the gym, get an education, get rid your stank ass attitude. Whatever it is, Fix it and stop looking for faults in the next person.
2.Stop being so fucking Catty! I think the fabricated statistics about the availability of “Good Black Men” have caused women to be in an imaginary contest. Downing each other and being petty is Not going to get you any closer to a healthy relationship, Money, or anything for that matter. Don’t be fooled by these (not so) reality shows. That shit aint cute. (refer back to #1)
3. Love and Support each other! If you’re going to look her up and down, compliment her shoes. If you don’t like her naturally curly afro at least respect her confidence. Become a mentor to the teenage mother instead of shaking your head and judging her. Patronize her business and support her events when your time and money allows. We get so caught up in our desire for men and material things that we forget we need each other too. [I’ll expound on this in another blog]
Let us grow and prosper as Queens instead of fighting like peasants.
From Ebony, with Love